Chasing the Sun Read online

  Her eyes soften, as if she realizes her innocent question threw me. “But not anymore?” When I don’t answer, she rubs my arm with her thumb. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

  I shake my head, focusing on the warmth of her touch. “You’re not. I haven’t been around a lot of people since… I need to get used to how to answer.”

  We both turn at the crunch of leaves as Mr. Mauro approaches. He smiles and holds out his hand. “Neb, we haven’t officially met. I’m Mr. Mauro, and we’re glad you could join us.”

  Sage takes a step back and I shake his hand. “Thank you, sir.”

  “Kit tells me you’ll give me a run for my money on eclipse trivia.”

  Sage snorts. “He’s totally geeked out about it.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.” He claps my shoulder. “I’ll let you two get back to your conversation. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “I will, sir.”

  Once he’s gone, my smile fades.

  “Neb, we don’t need to talk about this if you don’t want to.” Her thumb trails down my arm, and my gaze drops to her hand. She pulls away. “Sorry.”

  “No! That’s not what I meant.” Without thinking, I grab Sage’s fingers and rest them back on my arm. My pulse races so fast she can probably feel it.

  “My dad died a few months ago.”

  My statement hangs between us, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. She doesn’t rush to speak, instead concentrating on where we’re touching, processing what I’ve said.

  “And that’s why you moved here for your senior year.” Her voice softens at the end and her warm brown eyes pull me in. I nod, and a frown creases her lips. “I’m really sorry. I can’t even imagine.”

  There’s another pause, and I wait her out.

  “Was he sick?”

  Tears burn my eyes and her mouth falls open.

  “No. Stop. I shouldn’t be asking you all this right now. We just met and—”

  “I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer.”

  Something settles over her face and I immediately regret saying that. It’s too soon. My emotions are amped because I’m thinking about Dad. Now I’m going to scare her and—

  “I keep thinking that too. It’s weird, right?” The uncertainty in her eyes fills me with relief.

  “Maybe a little. But if we’re both thinking it, maybe it’s not.” My fingers graze hers and I slide them into her hand. “My dad died of a brain aneurysm. It was really fast. One minute he was walking next to me and the next…” Dad dropped to the dirt path that wound around the lake near our house without a sound, his face landing so hard his glasses broke. At first I thought he was joking. But he wasn’t blinking. Or breathing. I know enough about CPR to find a heartbeat, but there was nothing. He was just gone.

  Sage squeezes my hand, pulling me back to the present. To another patch of dirt, standing next to another person who means something to me.

  “The paramedics said he died so quickly he was probably gone before he hit the ground. But it took almost twenty minutes for them to get there.”

  She moves closer so our arms are touching. “It was just the two of you? Alone?”

  I nod, blinking back tears. I didn’t mean for her to see this side of me—not yet—but it’s too late now.

  “I’m really sorry.”

  I take a deep breath and smile down at her. “Now you know my secret. But we can’t keep talking about him or I’m gonna be a blubbering mess all weekend and I’m hoping to make at least a couple more friends before school starts.”

  Her smile’s so bright it dries my tears, and the firmness of her grip in mine makes me smile back. “Deal,” she says.

  “We should probably finish setting up camp, huh?”

  She turns to look at her campsite, where Theo and Naomi are bickering over a half-assembled tent. “I really should go help. They love each other, but they both refuse to do what the other tells them. At this rate I’ll have nowhere to sleep.”

  Thoughts of another place she could sleep flit through my mind, but I manage to keep my face blank. Instead I lift her hand to my lips and brush a kiss over her knuckles. “See you soon.”

  13

  Sage

  It takes almost an hour to get our tent set up and our stuff arranged inside. Once Theo runs off to find Kit, Naomi sits cross-legged on her sleeping bag and pats the spot next to her.

  “So how’d it go with Neb? I saw you holding hands. That’s good, right?” Her wide green eyes are bright, her smile genuine.

  I settle on the sleeping bag and sigh. “He’s wonderful. But it feels too fast. I JUST broke up with Pax.” The electricity between me and Neb felt off the charts, but that’s how it was with Pax. The first few months we dated, nothing existed but him, and I don’t want to make that same mistake a second time.

  And he’s dealing with his dad’s death. As bad as Pax was, at least I still have my parents.

  “Pax did you a favor by breaking up with you when he did.” She reaches for her backpack and digs in the front pocket. She pulls out something but keeps it hidden in her hand. “You’ve had most of the summer to get used to it, and now Mr. Right has dropped into your orbit.” With that, she drops a condom in my lap.

  “What the hell is this!?” I pick up the condom by the corner and wave it at her.

  Her smile falls. “I assumed you knew after two years with Asston.”

  I smack it against her forehead. “I know what it is. Why are you giving it to me?”

  She shrugs, her smile returning. “We’re in the woods and the Girl Scouts inspired me.”

  I tilt my head.

  “Be prepared?”

  “Oh my god!” This time I throw it at her chest. “I am not sleeping with Neb this weekend!”

  “But you’ve already thought about it.”

  “You’re killing me.”

  “Hey, I figured it’s been awhile. I’m just trying to help.” She tosses it back in my lap. “Three Good Things About Always Being Prepared.”

  I snort. “I appreciate it. I do. But you keep this.” I toss it on the sleeping bag, then add, “For now.”

  She pops to her knees. “I knew it!” Her shout echoes off the surrounding trees and she slaps her hand over her mouth. We burst out laughing and I fall back on the sleeping bag. The top of the tent is unzipped so only a mesh screen separates us from the sky. Sunlight filters through the trees, and a wisp of smoke from a campfire wafts through the leaves.

  “Ooh, someone’s got a fire going,” Naomi says. “Let’s go.”

  We follow the scent of the campfire, leaving the condom in the tent, and find Theo, Neb, and Kit talking to Mr. Mauro next to the fire. Ariana looks up as I approach and her gaze bounces between me and Neb. Her face doesn’t give away what she’s thinking, but my stomach sinks when she pulls out her phone and starts typing.

  Other kids gather near a picnic table assembling sandwiches while Ms. Kim cuts a pile of apples. She smiles as we approach.

  “Ladies, I trust you got your tent set up?” Mr. Mauro asks, his dark eyes sparkling. He’s one of those teachers who truly believes the best in every one of his students and has no doubt that we can accomplish anything we put our minds too.

  If only he knew where our minds were a few minutes ago.

  “Yes,” Naomi says. “Sage is quite handsy—I mean, handy—when it comes to pitching a tent.”

  I smack the back of my hand against her arm as the guys burst out laughing. My face warms and I can feel their gazes on me, especially Neb’s, but I refuse to look up. “Thanks for that,” I whisper.

  “You love it and you know it.” Naomi bumps her shoulder against mine. “Besides, you’re adorable when you’re blushing, and he’s totally staring.”

  I risk a glance up, and my eyes meet heaven again.

  “Food’s ready,” Ms. Kim shouts from the picnic table.

  “While you’re all here, we want to go over a few ground rules,” says Mr. Mauro. “You may have noticed
that there’s no Wi-Fi here.” Everyone groans and he waves us off. “You should still be able to text, so if you need to check in with your parents that won’t be a problem.”

  Ms. Kim moves to his side. “We want you to enjoy this experience without worrying about social media. So no phones around the fire.”

  “What?” Several kids shout.

  Naomi’s eyes practically bug out of her head. On reflex, I touch my phone in my back pocket. My Precious goes everywhere with me.

  Mr. Mauro smiles at the anguish on our faces. “The world will still be there when we get home.”

  “And a reminder that school rules apply,” says Ms. Kim. “Be respectful of others. You’re almost adults and we expect you to behave that way.”

  “And once you’re in your tent, you stay in your tent.” Mr. Mauro crosses his arms over his chest and looks each of us in the eye, daring anyone to challenge him, before breaking into a smile. “Now let’s eat!”

  “No WiFi?” Naomi whimpers.

  “We can check when we’re in Portland,” I say.

  “But that’s a whole day away.”

  “You girls hungry?” Neb asks, and Kit snickers. Neb rolls his eyes. “Just once can I say something without you making it sexual?”

  “Quit saying sexual shit and I’ll stop making it worse.”

  He shakes his head and smiles at me. “There’s stuff for sandwiches if you want…” he trails off like he’s expecting Kit to twist his words again, but Kit grabs a stick and pokes the fire, already distracted.

  We join the others in line for sandwiches and I’m suddenly at a loss for words, but at least the silence isn’t awkward. I want to know everything about him but I’d rather do this without an audience. I’m hyperaware of him standing behind me. The heat from his body and the subtle scent of peppermint wraps around me with each exhale, and it’s all I can do not to lean into him. When it’s my turn to make my sandwich, he slides next to me so our arms touch.

  “You a turkey or chicken kind of girl?” he asks.

  I point at the package of chicken. “I hate the tryptophan in turkey.”

  “You know chicken has that too?”

  I drop the package on the table. “What? No.”

  “It’s all poultry. Turkey gets a bad rap from Thanksgiving, but yeah.” He bites his lower lip like he regrets sharing this information. “But it’s not like you’re gonna pass out after one sandwich.”

  My hand hovers over the chicken. All these years I felt so smug choosing the poultry without the sleep-inducing amino acids, but if what he said is true, I may need to rethink my strategy.

  “For the love of god, Sage, make your sandwich,” Theo says from the back of the line.

  Neb’s already piled his bread with a mix of chicken and turkey and smiles as he squirts mustard onto the bread. “I like to live dangerously.”

  I snort, a super-flattering sound that makes him laugh. “Let me know if you need a nap later.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize how they sound. “I mean…”

  He gives me that half smile and my embarrassment flips to something else. Something warm with promises of what’s to come.

  He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear and the feel of his skin against mine makes me blush even harder. “You’re lucky Kit’s not around, because he wouldn’t let that go.”

  “But you will?”

  He pauses like he’s not sure what I’m asking. I shake my head and he winks. “For now.”

  I suck my lower lip between my teeth before I say anything else ridiculous. My sandwich finished, I grab a handful of apple slices and find an empty bench on another picnic table. Neb follows, and soon the rest of our group joins us and I take a break from worrying about saying something that might promise more than I can offer. Because as much as I like Neb, I’m terrified of getting close to someone else.

  14

  Neb

  Sage got quiet during lunch, but her friends don’t seem concerned, so maybe that’s just how she is. I hope she’s not embarrassed about the nap comment. The thought of curling up with her and watching the sky through the top of the tent sounds better than anything else I could imagine. Kit tossed a pack of condoms at me when I finished setting up my tent, but I’m not fooling myself into thinking that’s happening this weekend. Even if she didn’t just get out of a relationship, I’m not the type to jump right to sex.

  As if he can read my thoughts, Kit kicks me under the table and waggles his brows. I mouth ‘stop’ but he keeps it up until the others notice. Our empty paper plates are piled in the center of the table and while no one else seems in a hurry to get moving, I can’t sit still.

  “Does anyone want to go for a hike?” I ask, my gaze landing on Sage. Her smile does weird things to my heart and that nap is sounding even better.

  “I think the teachers are leading a hike once everyone’s done eating,” Sage says. I nod at the empty plates and she smiles. “Feeling antsy?”

  Something like that. “It’s too nice to sit around. I need to move.”

  “I need to grab sunscreen,” Sage says. “Want to walk with me?”

  Kit murmurs “oooohhhhh” under his breath, but I ignore him. I get the feeling I’ll be doing a lot of that this weekend. We toss the paper plates in the fire pit then walk side-by-side to her tent a couple sites away.

  “How’s it going with Kit?” she asks.

  “Is it that obvious?”

  She looks up at me, shielding her eyes from sun coming through the trees. “No, but I know Kit. Most people can only handle him in small doses and you’ve already had half a day.”

  “Let’s just say I’m really glad I brought my own tent.” She blushes, and I run my hand over my face, shaking my head. “I swear I’m not trying to make everything an innuendo.”

  Her elbow bumps my arm. “Oh, I dunno. Considering how we met, I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

  My steps slow so I fall behind, and she turns to look at me.

  “You know, online? Well, not face-to-face?”

  I stay silent, holding back my smile.

  She shifts from foot to foot, and her fingers twist together. “Come on, you had to wonder about me, too? Like if I’m normal or a dude or something.”

  My smile finally breaks free, and her shoulders relax. “I admit there were a couple times I wondered if you were a dude.”

  Her brows jump. “But only a couple?”

  “Maybe three.”

  “It was the story about getting sick on the roller coaster, wasn’t it?” she says. “I didn’t mean to go into as much detail as I did, but once it was out there I couldn’t take it back. Kind of like the vomit explosion on the Dragon Chaser.”

  I bark out a laugh. The sound echoes off the trees around us. It feels good to laugh, to not worry about life for once. “Maybe.”

  We reach her tent and I wait outside while she unzips the door flap. The muscles in the back of her legs flex as she crouches to squeeze through the narrow opening, then she disappears.

  “Do you need any?” she asks when she reappears.

  “Any what?” My mind’s still on her legs and I’m guessing that’s not what she means.

  She holds up a bottle of sunscreen and shakes it.

  “Oh. Sure.”

  We spray ourselves down and she tosses the bottle back in the tent when a loud whistle pierces the air. “Badgers! The hike leaves in five minutes!” Mr. Mauro shouts through cupped hands. “If you need to use the restroom, do it now!”

  Sage and I nod at each other, then break into a jog toward the bathrooms. Along with the rest of our classmates. I finish before Sage and am waiting outside when Tara comes over.

  “What do you want?” My tone is harsher than I’ve used with her before, and she blinks in surprise. I really don’t need her screwing up things with Sage.

  “Want to hike together? I didn’t bring the best shoes and I could use a strong arm.” She pouts in the direction of her platform sandals, then smiles up at
me.

  Kit’s words from earlier roll through my mind. Tara doesn’t take no for an answer and she always gets what she wants.

  Well, not this time.

  “I can’t, sorry.”

  “Can’t, or won’t?” Her lower lip sticks out even farther and she crosses her arms over her chest, pushing up her breasts. My eyes dip to the eclipse joke on her T-shirt and she smiles. “I don’t know why you keep fighting this.”

  Sage chooses that moment to exit the bathroom. I meet her eyes over Tara’s head and take a step back, putting distance between us. Sage’s smile fades and her hand lifts to her throat before dropping back to her side.

  Tara twists to follow my gaze before turning her sharp eyes back to me. Then her gaze softens and she bats her eyes. “I bet we’d be amazing together.” She reaches for my arm but I take several steps back. “Oh, I see.” Her voice has an edge I haven’t heard before and a flash of worry grips my stomach. She could ruin things with Sage if I don’t put a stop to this now.

  “I’m not interested.”

  She trails a finger over the words on her chest and looks up at me through her lashes. “Didn’t seem that way to me.”

  Tara’s full lips push into a pout but I move past her without another word.

  Sage is still frozen in place outside the bathroom, her eyes untrusting.

  “Please ignore her,” I say.

  “Is something going on with you two?”

  My head shakes hard. “No. Absolutely not. Never has, never will.”

  She bites her lower lip and peeks around my shoulder. “I don’t think she got the memo.”

  Against my better judgement, I turn to look at Tara, but as soon as our eyes meet, she stalks away in a huff. I smile down at Sage, but it feels like Tara’s standing between us. “Can we forget her?”

  She hesitates for a minute, like she’s deciding something, then rubs her knuckles against my forearm. “I’d like that.”